The 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is a process. Its my experience and from what I've witnessed, the process you go through while working the 12 steps, has the potential to change your life forever. If you are thoroughly honest with yourself and god and another human being, you will be amazed before you are half way through. Everyone has probably experienced the feeling of extreme pressure, the weight of the world on you shoulder. The way to lift the enormous pressure and potentially even the obsession for escape into alcohol or some other destructive thing, is to first admit that you're powerless over this thing (alcohol), and that your life has become unmanageable by this thing.
Step 1 : Admitting that you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable.
Directions:
Read the Doctors Opinion in the big book and Bill Story, then purchase the 12 steps and 12 traditions and read step 1.
Go back to Doctors Opinion and start reading again, then highlight what you relate to, and underline what you don't understand or can't relate to. Do the same in Bills Story. After you complete it, get someone familiar with the Big Book to help you, preferably someone that is currently sponsoring other alcoholics.
Then write out your experience and feelings of "powerlessness" and helplessness starting with the first time you blacked out, or got a DUI, or got that suddent realization that "hey, this isn't fun anymore"...then that feeling that you should stop, but can't...write all that out leading up to this current moment...summarize on 1 or 2 pages of paper.
You might ask.."why Dale"?
Over time, memories can fade, but in this time of reflection and huge remorse, you will be able to remember. This is an opportunity to record it, write it, journal it. For whatever reason, putting it to paper, taking that action, will make it more real, and therefore easier to remember later when you need it, to follow the drink through when the urge for alcohol returns. If you have already been directed to do this in rehab, or in intensive outpatient, that's ok, do it again.
Now read through and to the end of chapter 3, "More about Alcoholism" and stop there (before "We Agnostics), and repeat the instructions about highlighting what you relate to and underline what you don't.
God Bless and if you want you can email me at moguling@gmail.com to talk in private if you need help.
